This concept of unfollowing and even choosing who I want to follow on social media is not a new concept for me, and it is something I have been implementing in my life the last several years. I first realized that I needed to prune and weed my feed, when it was getting overcrowded with people who I hadn't talked to in years, Karens out there whose comments I rather not indulge for sake of my relationships with Jesus, and all the mom-shamers were out for vengeance on who did it better. I realized that it was time that I start filtering the trash, decluttering the fluff, and choosing who I would follow- who I would see and who I would want to look up to. I decided to intentionally cultivate my social media feed to be centered around people who were like-minded and looked up to in real life and even as mentors or just things that bring me joy.
Here are the general questions to keep in mind when you set out to tackle your feed, to see if someone's content it serving you in this season:
Does this person/product bring you joy or value?
Does this person/product align with your current goals?
Does this person/product make you say "Me too!" or "I need that!"?
If you answered "No" to any of those, it's time to toss that, sister! Click unfollow- seriously it's the 3 small little dots on Facebook- which allow you to not see that person in your newsfeed as often! From insta, just go to their profile and hit "unfollow". Seriously, every time that someone offends you or sets you off, it's time to pull those weeds.
Now, we all know that algorithms have an affect on what you will see on Instagram and Facebook. The worst part is, they change rapidly. But, you can literally be thinking about something and it pops up in your newsfeed- ok I'm exaggerating, but still! You know! The top stories and the posts you you see are ones of people you watch and interact with the most.
For a Season
Several years ago, I was big into working out. So, I went through and followed individuals that were fitness-minded, ate healthy, and posted workout plans. When I followed these people, if I had not worked out or eaten the best that day, then seeing these individuals would motivate me to get moving. As my priorities in life shifted, I unfollowed a lot of those individuals, and started thinking about my new goals. So, I changed up who I was following.
Once I became a Mom, and my priorities shifted, I decided I wanted to follow people that fit into "categories" with how I was wanting to view myself. I wanted to follow other Christians, moms, mom bloggers, authors, and individuals I felt would have an influence with the person and mom I wanted to become. They say you are a combination of the 5 most people you spend your time around. Well, since we all spend a lot of time on social media we are a combination of those individuals we follow the most as well in our online presence. Think about that and then see if you haven't taken on some of those you follow the same way.
Did you know that you can also follow your 25 closest friends even more closely on Facebook, so that you will see their feeds before the random people you've not talked to in 10 years? This allows you to cultivate who speaks into your life on a daily basis, who you engage with, and what content you consume. Choose wisely!
It is ok if you find your self needing to unfollow someone even for a season in your life. Or, if you cannot bring yourself to unfollow them, then hide that individual from your feed. What they are posting may not be lining up with what you need to see at this time in your life, and it is OK for you to put them on pause. No apologies necessary. Most likely if you unfollow someone on Instagram, they will likely never even notice. If you want someone to unfollow you for some reason, well Instagram has made that possible too. You can choose for them to unfollow you, and they will never know that either.
Positive vs. Negative
I once heard a story about 2 dogs- one a positive dog and one a negative. If you keep feeding the positive dog, he keeps coming back. And, if you feed the negative one, he keeps returning. Which ever dog you feed, that's the one that keeps coming back for more. Which dog is filling your feed? Is it more positive or negative?
In short, make technology your friend. Let it be a positive thing in your life. To me, I kinda think of my Instagram as a Pintrest board of living parts, that changes daily. But it's like a moving inspirational board for me. So friends, I challenge you to start cultivating your feed to work for you and your needs. Choose to see on your feed what brings you joy and value, and unfollow things that do not add substance to your daily life, intentionally!
The greatest part about social media is the community that you find there. For us, that's in our Facebook group- we share recipes, laughter, uplifting and positive quotes, real life inspirational stories, DIYs, and so much more. We pray for one another, share gratitude and support one another. If you you aren't a part of our online community, we invite you to add us to your feed! Simply join Grits, Grace, and Granola and make sure your notification settings are turned ON to "all posts", so you never miss a bit of positive inspiration for your daily life. Our goal is to bring you joy in every season of life.
Cultivate, book club
This month, we are exploring a brand new book also called Cultivate. We Invite you to join in and read it with us. We are better together! Lauren will be discussing this weekly in our grits, grace, and granola Facebook community.
I am excited to get to know all of you that have joined our community here at Grits, Grace, and Granola. To speak with you on the joys and struggles of relationships, motherhood, and life in general. To come along beside you as we learn and grow together.
Connect with me on instagram.
Happy Cultivating, Melissa and Lauren